IN 1982, THE LOADED TERM “HAVING IT ALL” ENTERED THE PUBLIC LEXICON, THANKS IN LARGE PART TO THE INFAMOUS HELEN GURLEY BROWN’S BOOK OF THE SAME NAME. THE PHRASE QUICKLY BECAME A BATTLE CRY OF YOUNG WOMEN RESISTANT TO THE LIMITATIONS THAT PICKING A LANE (CAREER OR FAMILY) IMPLIED. WITH EQUALLY SWIFT IRONY, HOWEVER, THE SLOGAN BECAME SADDLED WITH THE PREFIX “WOMEN CAN’T,” TURNING IT INTO AN ADMONISHMENT OR CAUTIONARY TALE.
It has taken nearly two generations, but today women at this same crossroads have seemingly cracked the elusive equation: Having it all is not about checking every box but rather acknowledging that “it all” is individually defined. LaTonya Staubs, stylist, designer, lifestyle blogger and mother, is a real-life incarnation of this fluid mentality towards a holistic existence. Her blog LaTonya Yvette addresses the struggles and joys of being a mother, including how she and her husband balance co-parenting with their respective creative careers and, of course, how to look confident, be comfortable and feel beautiful while doing it all.
WHAT WORD BEST DESCRIBED YOUR CURRENT EMOTIONAL STATE?
Feelings (too many).
WHAT DO YOU DO BEST?
WHAT WAS THE DEFINING MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?
The birth of my daughter River.
A SUMMER MORNING SONG
A WINTER NIGHT SONG
A FAVORITE INSTAGRAM POST
A PLACE YOU'VE CALLED HOME
WHAT AMERICA IS TO YOU
A QUOTE YOU LOVE?
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. - Maya Angelou
WHAT IS FREEDOM?
Living without an overhead of who, what, wear and when. Just living and loving without explanation, which is rare but can be accessible in some sense.
WHAT DO YOU WISH WE TALKED ABOUT MORE?
The ebbs and flows of any creative work.
YOUR FAVORITE '90S SUPERMODEL
YOUR MOST PRECIOUS OBJECT
YOUR FAVORITE BODY PART
A SONG FROM THE FIRST ALBUM YOU OWNED
A SONG YOU'RE EMBARRASSED TO LOVE
WHAT VALUES DO YOU MOST WANT TO PASS ON TO YOUR KIDS?
Do what makes you happy. There's no golden path to any of it.
WHAT ADVICE DO YOU WISH YOU COULD GIVE YOUR 15-YEAR-OLD SELF?
You're cute. You are you. Stop worrying. None of them will be there five years from now. NONE OF IT MATTERS.
WHERE WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE KISS?
Because I shouldn't have been there, in a cab.
WHICH OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE YOU MOST SIMILAR TO? HOW?
My mother. She is nice and smart but will and can put someone in their place real quick. As a kid I thought this was so weird, but I think there just has to be that balance as an adult.
A NEW YORK MOMENT
A SONG THAT MAKES YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS
A '90S HIP HOP SONG
A PICTURE THAT WAS ON YOUR WALL AS A TEENAGER
YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER
WHAT JOB WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IF NOT THE ONE YOU DO NOW?
WHAT JOB WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE DOING IT NOT THE ONE THAT YOU DO?
WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT BEING THE AGE YOU ARE NOW?
Your 20s are all about life lessons, and I think it's crazy and also a great thing that I get to raise kids while also going through all the 20-year-old crap.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE YOUR LIFE WILL LOOK LIKE IN 20 YEARS?
I really hope Peter and I will be traveling the world. We have dedicated these years to raising kids and figuring out our careers, I look forward to hopefully live off of it, get these kids out the house and travel with one another.
YOUR FAVORITE PLACE